moving on

My inspiration... :

• Fighter- Christina Aguilera
• See You When I See You-Jason Aldean
• Easy-Rascal Flatts ft. Natasha Bedingfield
• Sante Fe-Christian Bale from Newsies
• Heartbeats-Jose Gonzales
• To Make Her Love Me-Rascal Flatts
• Dani Burnett
• Manti Temple

Many years ago, I fell in love. I know it was love because the passion and feelings that I had for this boy were unmeasurable and I never could find the feelings for any other boy that I felt for him. Many years ago, I fell in love. And many years ago, I got my heart broken. Anyone would say it was just a summer love. Maybe it was. But it was one that lasted for over 5 years.
For 5 years now, I have known this boy did not deserve me. For 5 years now, I saved my heart for this boy. For 5 years, I tried to hide my love for him for fear of getting hurt and for fear of hurting those in my life who knew I deserved better. For 5 years, my heart would skip a beat at any reminder of him. For 5 years, I would try to relive the time I spent with him because I thought it made me feel worth and loved. For 5 years, I held onto this boy for dear life, for fear of being alone. For 5 years, I sold myself for less and kept myself chained to this boy who could not treat me correctly; who could not be honest with me in everything; who could not understand the most sincere things in my life; who knew me and said he loved me despite my flaws, yet could find flaws he felt needed to change; who could not take me to my castle; who did not understand the importance of being sealed in the Temple; this boy who really couldn't make me happy, even when I tried to convince myself he could.

I wouldn't change what I learned from this boy. He has taught me about love, about life, about what I don't want and what I do, what I deserve and what I do not. This boy is a great guy; but he's not a great guy for me.
Starting today, I am now free. My fear of being alone for my whole life-gone. I will find the boy of my dreams. Someday. I am no longer settling, because I don't need to. I might fall short of my own expectations sometimes, but that's okay. Because I am free.

No more hiding my heart. No more holding onto my weight because he thought it made me beautiful. No more feeling sorry for myself because I let a boy keep me down. No more thinking that my issues are what will get in the way of my dreams. No more being vulnerable to a boy who is not vulnerable to me too.


I want to thank all of the friends and family who stuck by me. Who constantly encouraged me of my worth and what I deserved, even when I didn't listen. The friends who did whatever it took, even if it meant yelling until I got the picture, to keep my spirits high and to move past this ridiculous hiccup in my life. For the family who showed empathy, even when they never really understood.



And I will find a man who feels this

and has the courage to not only tell me, but to show me that this is how he feels.


A tip to the lost:
Don't settle. You're not alone. And never give up.