Sister Rodriguez...

My Inspirations...

• The Holy Ghost
• D&C 133:7; D&C 115:5; D&C 58:64-65; D&C 18:15; Matthew 10:6; Mark 3:14; Luke 22:32; Alma 17:4
• Anchor Me by Jenny Phillips
• Walking with Christ by Jenny Phillips
• Daughter of a King by Jenny Phillips
• Someone Needs Your Star by Jenny Phillips
• Fast by Jason Aldean
• After the Storm by Mumford & Sons
• Thomas S. Monson

 

 

I have been called to serve as a missionary of

the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I will be spending the next 18 months sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have been called to labor in the South Dakota Rapid City Mission.

I report to the Missionary Training Center on February 20, 2013.

 

 

I am dedicating the next year and a half to the Lord, to bring others unto the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am going so that others too can feel the peace, love, and guidance that I have recieved through this restored gospel. I know there is someone in the South Dakota area that is praying for me, and needs me. I know there are many in the South Dakota area that I need, and that I have been praying for. I love my Savior, and how selfish would I be to withhold my knowledge and friendship with Him from those who have not tasted of His goodness.

I am so blessed for my opportunity to serve a mission. I have been promised that the next 18 months will bring me more joy, happiness, peace, and strength than I have yet experienced. That promise alone has sustained me.

The Lord's hand is in all of our lives. I know that it is in mine. South Dakota is where the Lord intends for me to serve, and my trust in Him has testified to me that South Dakota is where I also intend to serve.

9 more weeks. :)
(Much faster than the 11 months that I was preparing to wait pre-October 2012 Conference ;) )

 

I'm still breathing. I think.

My Inspirations...

• Walking with Christ by Jenny Phillips
• Temple Prep
• Live Like You Believe by Jenny Phillips
• Miss Mandi's Blog
• Pinterest Quotes
• Joseph Smith's First Prayer by Mormon Tabernacle Choir
• Keepers of His Light by Jenny Phillips
• Every Storm (Runs out of Rain) by
• Ho Hey by The Lumineers
• Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing by Women of Faith

So. It's been a month.

It has only been 34 days since my last post.

I cut myself off from social networking (except Instagram, of course.).

It was the best, hardest, most challenging, genuine, most endearing, revelation-filled, tough, just-getting-by days I have had in a long time.

No, I am not so addicted that I can't go without Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, etc.

It was because of changes I was making in my life.

The Adversary has never tried so hard,

been so strong,

and fought for so long 

as he has the past month.

I lost my Bishop to a new Stake Presidency.

I began preparing to enter the Holy Temple.

I prayed harder, and more often than I have prayed before.

I read, studied, and pondered the Scriptures.

I fell out of love (or so I thought it was).

I altered my words, my thoughts, and my actions.

I changed my outlook on myself.

But most of all, I changed my outlook on life.

I learned to value time and memories.

Not things and opinions.

20 things I learned

For my 20 years of life

1. We were not given life for us to judge one another; We were given life to HELP on another. (See Mosiah 27:4)
2. Time, no matter how hard we try to hold on, runs out. (See Alma 12:24; D&C 60:13)
3. Love is something that can be displayed through many more ways than verbal reminders.     (See 2 Nephi 26:30; Moroni 7:45)
4. Those that care for you can't stand the time without your presence. If your absence isn't felt by some, then grace those who miss you with your presence. (See Job 42:10; Proverbs 17:17; D&C 121:9))
5. Being kind should not be a rarity, rather a commonality. (See Ephesians 4:32)
6. Forgiveness will always set you free. (See 3 Nephi 11:29; Matthew 18:21-22; D&C 64:10)
7. Every one messes up. (See D&C 109:34)
8. No matter the struggle, no matter the temptation, no matter the person, we are all stronger, better, and superior to the Adversary. (See D&C 10:5)
9. Comparison is a lie we tell to ourselves. (See Abraham 3:23)
10. God's hand is in every aspect of our lives. Every Aspect. (See Abraham 2:7-8)
11. Trust is easy to lose, but you can always gain it back. (See Number 6)
12. You can't please everyone. Our Heavenly Father will always love you. Unconditionally. (See 1 Nephi 11:12; 2 Nephi 26:24; John 3:16)
13. A love affair with yourself is the most passionate, most powerful, most desirable, and most noticed love of any kind. (See D&C 18:10)
14. Being unique is okay. In fact, it is favored. (See Number 9) 
15. We are heirs of God's kingdom. (Re-read last sentence if you don't understand the significance and your worth.) (See Mosiah 15:11)
16. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and He has made all the difference. (See Matthew 1:21)
17. Putting all trust in the Lord is the best medicine to survive this life. (See Alma 36:3)
18. Service is the only way to find yourself, and it is the richest possession to give. (See Matthew 10:39)
19. The people that are the hardest to love are the ones who need to be loved the most. (See Matthew 5:44-48)
20. Jesus Christ lives! (See D&C 76:22-24)

Falling in love

My Inspirations...

• I Don't Do Lonely Well by Jason Aldean
• The Best of Me by Jason Aldean
• The Holiday (the movie)
• The Vow (the movie)
• Some Nights by Fun.
• Everything Will Be Alright by Jet
• Daylight by Matt & Kim
• Why Am I The One? by Fun.

'Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." 

What an extraordinary thought... I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.

It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". 

For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night.

And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. 

Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!'

Iris, The Holiday

"Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, 

I think it all kind of falls into place."

Jennifer Aniston

I haven't got it all figured out, but I at least have a start. Do you?

"He let you go... In the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. 

You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend."

Arthur, The Holiday

From today on, I vow to no longer play the best friend. Here I go!

It's never too late

My Inspirations...

• You Raise Me Up by The Mormon Tabernacle Men's Choir
• Lead, Kindly Light by The Mormon Tabernacle
• Priesthood holders
• 1 Nephi
• Consider the Lilies by Allyse Smith
• Jesus, Once of Humble Birth by Mindy Gledhill

Faith; to hope for things which are not seen,

but which are true.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

My relationship with this man is a true example of faith.

He is my real life example of waiting upon the Lord, and relying on faith.

For 20 years, I prayed that my dad would 

at least understand my love for 

The Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Today, (October 14, 2012), 

My dad received the Aaronic Priesthood.

I never imagined in my wildest dreams

That I would be blessed to have a dad who holds 

the Priesthood of Jesus Christ.

Words can never express how well pleased I am of my dad.

He is my best friend, and I thank God everyday for a forgiving heart,

and the Atonement of Jesus Christ that has given me my relationship with my father.

For any whose lives are not in order, remember,

it is never too late to make the Savior's Atonement

the foundation of our faith and lives.

Elder Quentin L. Cook

Today.

My Inspirations...

• Words from prophets of God
• I'm Movin' On by Rascal Flatts
• Called To Serve by Mormon Tabernacle Choir
• Abide With Me by Mormon Tabernacle Choir
• Personal Revelations
• Learning to Love Yourself  by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse 

 

 

 

That was today.

 

 

 

 

A word to the wise...

When you feel lost, discouraged, hurt, alone, or are wandering blindly. Read a book. Preferrably a self motivational one. They work wonders in redirecting your life. The best book= The Book Of Mormon. 

 

 

"Prayer changes things."

Emma Smith

Heroes.

My Inspirations...

• Bluebird by Christina Perri
• Holding Out For A Hero by Ella Mae Bowen
• Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
• Hallelujah by Kate Voegele
• A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans



I'm not one who really needs to be saved.

I'm usually pretty good on my own.

 But once in a while,

I don't mind having a sidekick.



I've been fallen apart for a while now. I have been holding myself back for fear of what life had to offer me. Staying in your comfort zone provides safety-something I've always required. Luckily, I have had a few sidekicks who chose to stick by me, even in the darkest of times.

Even when I never realized it,

I am becoming her.

Love yourself...

My Inspirations...

• Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse
• April Showers by Sugarland
• Little Miss by Sugarland
• Eighteen Inches by Lauren Alaina
• A lot of time on my knees

I have been trying to convince myself of this very simple fact.










I have come to face a very complex part in my life. When I need to find myself.
Maybe I need a vacation. Maybe I need to explore. Maybe I need a mental health day (or week). Or maybe I just need to get laid.
(Just kidding-that was a joke.)

I have a lot of fears. Many that I never really knew I had. The hardest part of it all is that I have to do it all on my own. Not with my family. Not with my friends. Not with my co-workers. I need to find me as an individual.

Courage is the power

To let go of the familiar.

Raymond Lindquist

Starting right now. At 8:55 pm on Sunday, September 16, 2012.

I am starting my own journey.

My new adventure.

I am finding me.



Also. GO UTES :)



Be.You.

My Inspirations...

• Every Girl Like Me by Sugarland
• Eighteen Inches by Lauren Alaina
• Make Me Believe by Sugarland
• Sugarland Concert
• Little Miss by Sugarland







"I'm quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes

Little Miss 

 too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that I have... and even with my faults,

I am worth loving."

Danu Grayson





Next Chapter

My Inspirations...

• Time spent on my own
• Miss Mandi Call's Blog
• Jenny the Ginger's Blog
• Wanted by Hunter Hayes
• Back In This Cigarette by Jason Aldean

When I was a kid,

My biggest worries were where my barbies were,

Who I would play with that day,

What I wanted for lunch,

And getting tucked into bed by my mom at night.

I didn't know what cancer was. I didn't fully understand death.

My friends either could play that day or they couldn't. There were no games, no lies, no hurt feelings, and no jealousy.

Marriage was something for old people. I didn't even know where babies came from, nor did I care.

I didn't worry about paying for my wants and my needs.

I didn't even think about a job.

My parents loved me. My grandparents adored me.

My life was just life.

I'll be the first to tell you that growing up sucks.

It has it's perks, but all in all, the life of a child is so pure and innocent.

You wonder who should be in your life, and who shouldn't.

Who is worth your time, and who isn't.

How you'll pay for things, and what you need.

It's not longer about finding things to fill the time in your day.

It's about finding the time to fit things into your day.

Through all of this I have realized one simple thing: Life goes on.

"I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung onto the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance, I have been a victim of my own optimism."

Elizabeth Gilbert

There are things in my life that I've tried to hold onto.

Friendships I've tried to prolong.

Relationships I've tried to rekindle.

Memories I've tried to relive.

Wounds I constantly re-open.

Feelings I've tried to hold close.

Words I've held back.

I can't control other people.

I can't hang onto things I've never had.

I can't go back in time.

I can't open what is healed.

I can't banish my feelings.

I can't live my life in fear.

I'm not sure what the next chapter in my life holds.

I don't know what God has in store for me in the future.

All I know is that I have today.

I have the time that I am given,

And I am no longer wasting that on

People who don't deserve it,

Lust trying to transform into love,

Regret,

Hurting,

Suffering,

Or spending too much time on the things that don't matter.

I'll end by saying:

It's not up to me anymore.

If you want me in your life,

You'll find a way to put me in it.



Wrap it up...

My Inspiration...

• Endlessly by Green River Ordinance
• Son's Gonna Rise by Citizen Cope
• A Little Bit Stronger by Sarah Evans
• Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
• Gone Away by Safetysuit
• Open Road by Whitney Duncan
• A Place in This World by Taylor Swift
• Car Rides

Summer isn't quite over yet. But with only a few weeks left, here's a wrap up of my Summer 2012...

1- Just like everyone else who moved away to school, I moved back home at the end of my school year at Snow College. I left behind my home for the past 9 months. I left behind my town that I grew to love. I was separated from my best friends that I made at school, mostly my roommates. I came back to Farmington to live with my crazy, messy, and sometimes loving family. I had to start working again, beginning my countdown to return to Ephraim in the fall...

2-Luckily, I moved back to the same town as my best friend. I kind of expected

for change to take place once I moved back home. I reconnected with old

friends, I lost contact with friends, and I realized who my true friends were,

and who they weren't. I went from a life pretty much free of drama to more

drama, but I learned to avoid it. As hard as it was to move home, it couldn't

have come at a better time...

3- A week after I moved home, I learned to face one of the darker days I've faced yet.  

And got a fortune cookie of what the rest of my summer would hold..

 I spent a lot of time with my dad at the beginning of my summer...

I became even closer to my best friend...

And my family in general.

A week after I moved home from school, my dad was diagnosed with Stage 3 Metastesized Tonsil Cancer.

This is my dad after 7 hours of surgery. This man, whom I have never seen even wince in pain, in this state. And the cause of it all? Tobacco use and excessive alcohol consumption.

 4- I worked a lot. When I wasn't working, I was spending time with my family, my cousins, my grandparents, and, of course, my friends. My dad started treatment and has been a fighter through and through.

I went camping.

I went to drive ins.

 I traveled to Springville.

I saw missionaries leave

on their missions.

I had missionaries 

return home from

their missions.

 I had good laughs.

I had adventures.

I have great people in my life.

I now work two part time jobs. I unfortunately will not be returning to Snow College. I am instead finishing my schooling at Weber. Heavenly Father has given me a list of signs for why I should be here, not in Ephraim. As much as it breaks my heart, and I wish things were different. I am actually a little excited for the next part of life ahead of me.

So here I am. Starting a new adventure in my life. I work a real job, and a fun job. I am apart of my family. I have friends. I am a college student. Like most 19 year olds in America, right?

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me. Guess I'm still tryin' to figure it out. Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walkin', tryin' to see through the rain comin' down. Even though I'm not the only one who feels the way I do-I'm alone. On my own. And that's all I know. I'll be strong. I'll be wrong. Oh, but life goes on. Oh, I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world.

-Taylor Swift, A Place In This World

My Family...

My Inspiration...

• I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz
• Wanted by Hunter Hayes
• Springsteen by Eric Church
• Holding Out For A Hero by Ella Mae Brown
• Wouldn't It Be Nice? by The Beach Boys
• Coming Home by Diddy
• Home by Michael Buble

My Family <3

Oakley, Corver, Greyson, Kinzy (Mike), Scott, Shauna, Lance, Gary, Karen, Brad, Austin, Josh, Mom (Dad)

Londyn, Rielyn, Grandma, Grandpa

Rubin, Alex, Tristan

One of the great blessings of the plan is that we are organized into families.

Mary N. Cook

Without this specific family that I was put into, I would not still be on this earth. Not only have they been the best friends I could ever ask for, amazing support to count on, and great entertainers, they have been even better teachers. I would be so beyond lost without my specific family. They support me more than anyone could ever imagine. They encourage me, every step I take in this life. They believe in me, when I cease to believe in myself. They make me laugh harder than anyone could. But, best of all, they love me, more than words could describe. My family knows my ambitions, my goals, my fears, my accomplishments, my likes, my dislikes, my flaws, my perfections-they know everything, and they do everything in their power to get me by. The fact that I was put in this specific family is proof that there is a God, who knows us specifically and loves us, and He puts us where we belong. I belonged in this family, and I am beyond blessed to be a part of this specific family.

To my family:

Thank you-for always putting up with me; for taking me in when I need it; for letting me go when I'm ready; for trusting me; for believing in me; for giving me responsibilities; for building me up; for keeping me humble; for teaching me; for looking past my imperfections; for talking to me when I'm too shy to start a conversation; for telling me to shut up when I talk to much; for making me laugh; for letting me cry; for the good times; for the bad times; for being my family.

I'm sorry-for the missed opportunities; for the disappointing choices; for the poor choice of words; for the hurt I may have caused; for the time I lost; for the burden that I may sometimes be; you're stuck with me forever.

I love you-all of you; for everything you have done and will do for me; for never giving up on me, despite the lack of light at the tunnel at times; for being my family.

Unique

My Inspirations...

• Wanted by Hunter Hayes
• Springsteen by Eric Church
• Mess I Made by Parachute
• One Thing by One Direction
• All About Steve the movie

New York Times crosswords editor Will Shorts says, 

"we have a natural impulsion to fill empty spaces."

I like to think he means not just crosswords, 

but the empty spaces inside of us that come from 

making your way in a world that doesn't always embrace unique.

Mary, from All About Steve

This quote couldn't have come at a more precise time in my life.

Like most anyone between the ages of around 13 until marriage, I have been wondering what is wrong with me that no one would want to be with me? 

And in this ridiculous thought process, I was trying to pinpoint certain things about myself that I could change. I mean, I know I'm not necessarily the most normal person to walk the planet.

This constant train of thought that is consistently running through my mind was getting me down when I was watching All About Steve. And I realized how right Mary was when she said this:

New York Times crosswords editor Will Shorts says, 
"we have a natural impulsion to fill empty spaces."
I like to think he means not just crosswords, 
but the empty spaces inside of us that come from 
making your way in a world that doesn't always embrace unique.
I try to fill my empty spaces with words, and puzzles, and steve.
But that wasn't the answer. Now I know, from the journey of life
just find someone as normal as you, if not a whole bunch.

Mary

So I'm a little quirky.

 

Since I was young, I have always been a little interesting.

I love stupid jokes. I laugh at myself daily. I find beauty in the smallest things. I say what's really on my mind, especially without filters. I encounter awkward situations every day-without fail. I love more than I should, and I fall for the simplest things.  I'm the furthest thing from being average, normal, or one with society, but I love who I am. I have people who love me for me, despite the flaws and the mistakes and the downfalls that I may posses or do. 

I might not be everyone else's version of how a person should be, but I will find someone whose version of a perfect person will be me. 

So, a word to the wise:

You know one of my favorite ingredients in crossword is, perseverance.

If you quit a puzzle you can't finished it.

Sure every once in a while you're running to a duty that you can't

ever solve in a million years but if you stick with it, 

you'll figured it out... eventually.

Worst thing you can do is leave it unfinished.

It's never the solution is it?

Mary

Just be okay with being you. And all of your spaces will be filled. <3

I'm not dead, yet.

My Inspirations...

• You Don't Know You're Beautiful by OneDirection
• Brokenhearted by Karmin
• Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
• Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones
• Beautiful, and encouraging friends
• The Book Of Mormon

For some reason,

I always surrounded myself with others who didn't always lift me up.

Some degraded me. Some ignored me. Some took me for granted. Some kept me around for convenience.

And all of these, I held onto for dear life.

But, I've recently learned a lot about myself.

I used to make myself invisible, because I didn't want others to notice my short comings. 

I hid behind my weight so that I could keep everyone at an arms length.

I thought that I was ugly, fat, and very frumpy.

Thanks to some amazing and inspiring friends, I am beginning to realize my worth.

I've realized that I am truly not as ugly as I thought I was.

I am beautiful.

I've realized that I am not as fat as I once believed I was.

I am beautiful.

I've realized that while I believed when others told me that I was weak, insecure, and had a lot of issues,

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

And I am worth it.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am a daughter of God. And He has made me perfect in His eyes.

Thank you to the doubters, the degraders, the unsure, the pessimists, those who never noticed, those who pointed out the flaws, and the unbelievers. For you have taught me to be tough, and to love unconditionally.

Thank you to the knowers, the builders, the assurers, the optimists, those who did notice, those who pointed out my strengths, and the believers. For you have taught me to love myself, and that I am enough. And thank you for never giving up one me-despite my denials.

I have a lot more work ahead of me. But, if I can remind myself everyday that I am made the way He wants me to be made, and that I am beautiful, I can do this.

And so can you.

A word to the wise...

You are enough. You are His child. Lift others up, don't belittle them. We are all beautiful.

And also, I am beautiful. Don't try to tell me any different.

If you want me in your life...

My Inspiration...

• Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
• Why Ya Wanna by Jenna Kramer
• Even If It Breaks Your Heart by Eli Young Band
• Brokenhearted by Karmin
• My dad’s diagnosis with cancer

This summer has started off to be a bit of a doosy. My life has been turned upside down and shaken up quite a bit. But, through the darkness, there are some things I’ve come to realize. 

And number one is: You find out who your friends are. 

Are your friends the ones that are there for only the bad times? Are friends the ones who are those you can laugh with? Are friends there for the good times, but tend to, for some reason or another, disappear when things get rough? Do friends hold back when faced with obstacles, or do they rush in to help? What is a friend? And where are they?

Friend(frend). Noun. : a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; 

a person who gives assistance; 

supporter;

I have been blessed to have a lot of friends in my lifetime. Some I have had for a long while. Some I have had for only a short time. And some come and go, depending on what life brings. I often feel like I get forgotten in this crazy life, and that is truly a demon in itself.

 

Starting today, I am following the advice of my favorite quote:

It’s not up to me anymore.

If you want me in your life, you’ll find a way to put me in it.

I am done trying to track my friends down. If you want me in your life, put me in it. Otherwise, I’ll see you when I see you. Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t appreciate having you in their lives…

Maybe this is just my boggled mind speaking. But it's the honest truth. 

A big thank you... 

To those of you who have been there for me through these last couple of weeks. Thank you for the prayers and the support for my family and me at this time. Thank you to those who have performed random acts of kindness without asking what was needed. Thank you to those who constantly checked in on my family and me, showing your concern and care. Thank you to those who have listened to me, regardless of how negative or hopeless I may have sounded. And thank you to those who have given us the strength to accept this new obstacle in life. We don't have it as easy as others, but we definitely have it easier than most.