- Time spent on my own
- Miss Mandi Call's Blog
- Jenny the Ginger's Blog
- Wanted by Hunter Hayes
- Back In This Cigarette by Jason Aldean
When I was a kid,
My biggest worries were where my barbies were,
Who I would play with that day,
What I wanted for lunch,
And getting tucked into bed by my mom at night.
I didn't know what cancer was. I didn't fully understand death.
My friends either could play that day or they couldn't. There were no games, no lies, no hurt feelings, and no jealousy.
Marriage was something for old people. I didn't even know where babies came from, nor did I care.
I didn't worry about paying for my wants and my needs.
I didn't even think about a job.
My parents loved me. My grandparents adored me.
My life was just life.
I'll be the first to tell you that growing up sucks.
It has it's perks, but all in all, the life of a child is so pure and innocent.
You wonder who should be in your life, and who shouldn't.
Who is worth your time, and who isn't.
How you'll pay for things, and what you need.
It's not longer about finding things to fill the time in your day.
It's about finding the time to fit things into your day.
Through all of this I have realized one simple thing: Life goes on.
"I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung onto the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance, I have been a victim of my own optimism."
Elizabeth Gilbert
There are things in my life that I've tried to hold onto.
Friendships I've tried to prolong.
Relationships I've tried to rekindle.
Memories I've tried to relive.
Wounds I constantly re-open.
Feelings I've tried to hold close.
Words I've held back.
I can't control other people.
I can't hang onto things I've never had.
I can't go back in time.
I can't open what is healed.
I can't banish my feelings.
I can't live my life in fear.
I'm not sure what the next chapter in my life holds.
I don't know what God has in store for me in the future.
All I know is that I have today.
I have the time that I am given,
And I am no longer wasting that on
People who don't deserve it,
Lust trying to transform into love,
Regret,
Hurting,
Suffering,
Or spending too much time on the things that don't matter.
I'll end by saying:
It's not up to me anymore.
If you want me in your life,
You'll find a way to put me in it.