Unique

My Inspirations...

• Wanted by Hunter Hayes
• Springsteen by Eric Church
• Mess I Made by Parachute
• One Thing by One Direction
• All About Steve the movie

New York Times crosswords editor Will Shorts says, 

"we have a natural impulsion to fill empty spaces."

I like to think he means not just crosswords, 

but the empty spaces inside of us that come from 

making your way in a world that doesn't always embrace unique.

Mary, from All About Steve

This quote couldn't have come at a more precise time in my life.

Like most anyone between the ages of around 13 until marriage, I have been wondering what is wrong with me that no one would want to be with me? 

And in this ridiculous thought process, I was trying to pinpoint certain things about myself that I could change. I mean, I know I'm not necessarily the most normal person to walk the planet.

This constant train of thought that is consistently running through my mind was getting me down when I was watching All About Steve. And I realized how right Mary was when she said this:

New York Times crosswords editor Will Shorts says, 
"we have a natural impulsion to fill empty spaces."
I like to think he means not just crosswords, 
but the empty spaces inside of us that come from 
making your way in a world that doesn't always embrace unique.
I try to fill my empty spaces with words, and puzzles, and steve.
But that wasn't the answer. Now I know, from the journey of life
just find someone as normal as you, if not a whole bunch.

Mary

So I'm a little quirky.

 

Since I was young, I have always been a little interesting.

I love stupid jokes. I laugh at myself daily. I find beauty in the smallest things. I say what's really on my mind, especially without filters. I encounter awkward situations every day-without fail. I love more than I should, and I fall for the simplest things.  I'm the furthest thing from being average, normal, or one with society, but I love who I am. I have people who love me for me, despite the flaws and the mistakes and the downfalls that I may posses or do. 

I might not be everyone else's version of how a person should be, but I will find someone whose version of a perfect person will be me. 

So, a word to the wise:

You know one of my favorite ingredients in crossword is, perseverance.

If you quit a puzzle you can't finished it.

Sure every once in a while you're running to a duty that you can't

ever solve in a million years but if you stick with it, 

you'll figured it out... eventually.

Worst thing you can do is leave it unfinished.

It's never the solution is it?

Mary

Just be okay with being you. And all of your spaces will be filled. <3

I'm not dead, yet.

My Inspirations...

• You Don't Know You're Beautiful by OneDirection
• Brokenhearted by Karmin
• Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
• Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones
• Beautiful, and encouraging friends
• The Book Of Mormon

For some reason,

I always surrounded myself with others who didn't always lift me up.

Some degraded me. Some ignored me. Some took me for granted. Some kept me around for convenience.

And all of these, I held onto for dear life.

But, I've recently learned a lot about myself.

I used to make myself invisible, because I didn't want others to notice my short comings. 

I hid behind my weight so that I could keep everyone at an arms length.

I thought that I was ugly, fat, and very frumpy.

Thanks to some amazing and inspiring friends, I am beginning to realize my worth.

I've realized that I am truly not as ugly as I thought I was.

I am beautiful.

I've realized that I am not as fat as I once believed I was.

I am beautiful.

I've realized that while I believed when others told me that I was weak, insecure, and had a lot of issues,

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

And I am worth it.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am a daughter of God. And He has made me perfect in His eyes.

Thank you to the doubters, the degraders, the unsure, the pessimists, those who never noticed, those who pointed out the flaws, and the unbelievers. For you have taught me to be tough, and to love unconditionally.

Thank you to the knowers, the builders, the assurers, the optimists, those who did notice, those who pointed out my strengths, and the believers. For you have taught me to love myself, and that I am enough. And thank you for never giving up one me-despite my denials.

I have a lot more work ahead of me. But, if I can remind myself everyday that I am made the way He wants me to be made, and that I am beautiful, I can do this.

And so can you.

A word to the wise...

You are enough. You are His child. Lift others up, don't belittle them. We are all beautiful.

And also, I am beautiful. Don't try to tell me any different.