Sorry about it... I work so much I barely see my mom, and it's usually as I am leaving to go to work or returning home from work and getting ready for bed. And that's my mom. Unfortunately, I have epically neglected my friends, my family, and my social life. But I want you all to know that I'm doing okay, and I'm happier now than I have been in a really long time.
No, I don't have a boyfriend. ain't nobody got time for that.
No, I'm not in school. but it's coming soon.
No, I haven't run away to North Dakota. i'm still here in Utah.
I have come to a new understanding.
I am learning to love and embrace my life right now. I am learning to embrace who I am right now. I am learning to embrace how I am right now.
My mind is always moving 300 mph in multiple directions. Sometimes it seems like my brain is on a round about and I just throw random things out during the crazy curve. I hit a stop light just with enough time to study my scriptures and rest my body, and the dawn breaks and I'm at it again.
[as for my health, some days are still better than others.
some days I feel 18, some days 22,
and most days at least 50.
but I'm relying more on the Lord
to accomplish what I need to,
and to make me rest while I can.
He knows my heart, and we're in a mutual agreement.]
Anyways, the number one thing I am asked now that I'm home and no longer in the awkward green RM stage (which I sometimes dip my toes in that water pretty often), is if I am dating anyone.
The conversation usually goes like this...
'Where did you serve? How long have you been home?'
I served in South Dakota, and I absolutely loved it. I got home in February, so about 8 months.
'Oh, so you're finally adjusting. Are you dating anyone?'
No, I'm not. I'm just rolling through life.
'Oh. You're not dating... So what do you want to do with your life? Do you want to get married?'
......
(enter Nacho Libre-'man, get that corn outta my face!')
I don't know what it is about sisters serving missions and the idea that we don't want to get married. But holy cow guys-yes, I want to get married.
Yes, I'm doing something with my life. It's called strengthening my relationship with my God. No, I didn't serve a mission because I couldn't get married and I had nothing better to do. I served because I had the desire too, and God saw it fit for me to serve a full time missionary.
No, I'm not avoiding marriage or dates. Dating is hard.
The truth is, I want what every girl has dreamt of since she could talk-I want someone who adores me. I want someone who accepts my flaws and my imperfections. I want someone who is patient with me and understands that sometimes I'm not all that rational-but I'm worth it. But it's not all about finding that man to adore me; it's about allowing someone else in, allowing someone to adore me.
I'm doing just that, and it's with my Heavenly Father. I'm allowing Him to accept my flaws and my imperfections. I'm allowing Him to be patient with me. I'm allowing Him to understand that I'm not always rational, but He knows, oh how He knows that I am worth it. I am allowing Him to adore me.
every girl wants to be pretty.
really, everyone wants to be considered attractive.
I know my most attractive attribute will be
my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
And I have found more happiness
and beauty
by joining with Him to make my life all it can be.
I am striving to be the girl whose heart is so close with God
that a man must draw nearer to Him to get to me.
Because the triangle...
God
/\
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
Husband------Wife
...is really what it's all about.
So yes. I'm single.
Yes. I want to get married.
Yes. I am dating.
No. I'm not desperate.
No. I'm not only looking to get married right away.
And yes, I do love my God.
There ya have it, folks. There's my shpeel on life lately.
Now, pass this on to the old people that assume I'll be forever alone.