I love change, but I also don't like when change means out of my comfort zone. Does that even make sense? I like to change when it's in my plan, but when it's unplanned, it freaks me right out. So since I've been home, I have been trying to put myself back into the life I lived before I graduated high school, or my life at college, or my life before my mission. I tried to morph the friends I had into my life now, all while getting disheartened with the changes they had made or that I have made. I've tried to put pieces back together from my past, but I haven't been trying to build new pieces of my future, or even my present.
It's been a constant battle, hating the girl I see in the mirror. I always put these absurd ideas in my mind of what everyone 'wants' me to do or what they 'think' of me, when in all honesty, those thoughts don't reflect the people I've surrounded myself with. My family and friends would never think or say the thoughts that I have built up in my mind, imagining what they think. This whole time I have been beating myself up, trying to become what everyone else wanted me to become, but they were all false expectations. I am surrounded by incredible people who only want the best for me. And it's about dang time to let myself reach my full measure and be truly happy. Not only for me, but for my friends and family, and most importantly, my God.
Love who you are; love your reflection in the mirror. Both the physical and the emotional mirror. Because we are each here for a divine purpose, and we must view ourselves the way that our Loving Heavenly Father views us. Because His love is true, and unconditional.