what do I need?

My Inspiration...

• Mr. Know It All-Kelly Clarkson
• Falling Down-Avril Lavigne
• Consider the Lillies-Allyse Smith
• Ring of Fire-Johnny Cash
• Hello World-Lady Antebellum
• Cowgirls Don't Cry-Brooks & Dunn
• My Weight Management & Eating Behaviors class

I have been trying to believe the quote in this picture.

I feel like I have been defeated. I feel like I have been suffering. I feel like I'm struggling, losing, and swimming around in the depths.

I know that I have been through a lot harder trials than the ones I am facing right now. I have experienced hell compared to what I am experiencing now. So why do I let myself feel down?

I'll figure it out one day.

New thought for my future:  Addiction Counselor

I have definitely been letting my attitude control me.

Maybe a win from the Jazz will help better my attitude.

A word to the wise... When you feel like you are bursting at the seams, go for a drive. Find a song that makes you feel liberated and strong. Blast it as loud as you want. Sing along. And let the world know how you feel.

I did today. It helped a little. 

But, maybe my true medicine, would be to just see my grandparents. Unfortunately, I know this is impossible. 

I can't just run to my grandma to cry and have her hug me.

I can't have my grandpa's twinkle look into my eyes and tell me everything will be okay, and that I'm worth it. And that I am his granddaughter.

A girl can dream though.

So the countdown begins. 30 days from now and I will be venturing south to see the most important people in my life. 30 days. I can do this.

My family

My grandparents

My roommates

My abled body

College

Math

Music

The Gospel

My Patriarchal Blessing

Being able to cry

P.S. Mandi Call discovered to me Nutella. I will be fat forever, and I wouldn't care if it is because of that.